Thursday, October 21, 2010

Day 21: This title came to be only when I realized I haven't given this post one

I think I was stretching... Yes, one in my position would probably need to stretch a lot. Am a little today, as I just woke up. Geez, I might consider buying supplements that help me with my concentration and alertness. Vitamin C, perhaps? I know it's a complete misnomer for the pervious description but I'm typing as words pop into my head.

If there would ever be a time when I felt I would've gone insane, it would be the last night. The article I had to read for film theory class completely blew my mind away, disintegrating into a 5000-piece puzzle that I had to piece together in a couple of hours, made no bloody sense at all. I thought I was the only ignoramus of the class at that point, being unable to comprehend a single word the article was trying to tell me. Luckily, in class today, the professor actually expected none of the students to understand the text anyway. Huh. Take that for a class.

So it was comforting to know I wasn't the only person screaming "What?!" and "F***..." as I read the article since most of my classmates had this equally dumbstruck look upon their faces... Or was it indifference? Hmm... I'm not sure if I'm the only person taking the class a wee bit too seriously. Maybe not. I definitely hope not. But another thing I that I sort of found comfort in was my mid-term exams. Previously I had been wailing over the results, until he told me that the average grade for the class was a B+. That made me feel... slightly better for I kept having this impression in my head that everyone was acing it... even though this is one heck of a course.

Now, the reason why it's sort of comforting is because the professor actually wrote an extremely long comment at the end of both papers, and ended it with his surprise over the quality of the work, for he clearly thought I could've provided a far better paper.

...

Hah... haha... ha... ha...

Hear that? That's pressure. That thought had been haunting me since the day I handed in my exam paper because I knew, during that one night of composition, I was struggling to fill the pages with content instead of actually providing content. Mind you, one of the works that I had to read through again was worth 80 pages, no way in hell I could've done that within two nights, with all the other work I had. With all due respect, I even expected my grade to be lower. Although of course, when I saw the figures, I wasn't exactly lying on my chair, sighing in relief. More like, staring at screen for five minutes in disbelief. Ramblings of a pathetic old man... Huh.

But anyway, I'm feeling more clear-headed now, I think. At least I know, it's not the end of the world and I can still maintain my 4.0. What happened during the previous week had been an utter nightmare and so I'm thrusting and cramming all my work now in order to prevent another seven days of absolute torture.

Wish me luck.

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