I just realized the color of my scarf is highly imperceptible. It's dark purple really, to match the lavender shirt I wore inside the cardigan.Freakishly tiring day, I suppose it's because of the amount of time I took to composing that paper for Film Theory but, as usual, it's worth the attention. Sometimes, I think my entire life is devoted to the academia, nothing else. Such a nerdy perspective on life, but hey, at least I look good doing it.
But here's the scary thing, "nerdy" and "looking good" are such subjective terms. It's so difficult to objectify someone, or something, without being biased to one's "cultured" perspective. I occasionally wonder myself (though mostly when I'm depressingly low on serotonin) if I can really wear, what I wear. I do admit, I am narcissistic at times. I keep having the impression "no one can wear things the way I do." I just don't say it. But I silently preach it.
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*Incoming fruits and vegetables from imaginary audience. Don't forget the egg salad too. I like those.
Moments of self doubt overwhelm me whenever I'm feeling tired, perhaps as punishment for not rewarding my body the sleep it deserves, hence the vehemence struck upon me served to say "Go to sleep, bitch!" Huh. Gender swap in profanity. I'm improving. Well I did take a nap earlier, and I'm feeling refreshingly better. For the moment. I just hope it lasts until I finish 200 pages worth of Pamela.
But oh well, I'm tired of chasing the ideals of others, I'd rather live the way I've lived for almost twenty years. I mean, the best evidence one is successful so far is through a written manuscript that underlines the "very" of the good, right. Right? I'm trying to self-affirm myself here because I know it's a rather pathetic answer.
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I also just realized how depressingly moody this post can sound. Or maybe, even all of my other previous posts. It's because I tend to avoid using exclamations in my posts, I find them extremely distracting. And high. Notice the frequent usage of periods, not commas. Observe. It's in effect now. That deadpan voice in the back of your head.
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Yesssssssssssssss.
Perhaps I should openly reveal that my posts tend to be highly sarcastic, not sardonic. Well, at least I hope they appear to be that way. It would be a real downer if it were the latter. But, as my fiction professor tells me, "if your audience don't see it in writing, revise it." Couldn't agree more. 'Cept, in this case, it's a journal that I keep everyday and I can't exactly go back to each post and "revise" it. That would be ethically inappropriate.
Rather chatty this early morning (it's about 2am Nebraska time). I shall leave you with this mythbuster: Horizontal stripes do not make you look fatter. Vertical stripes, however, do. Of course, these are merely illusions designed to aid in a very minimal way. I'd say if one wants to lose the blubber, there's always a park right outside. Use it.
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